The Fragments Of Who We Are
My mom always used to say to me, ‘You are a product of your environment Kate, so choose carefully’. I never really understood the truth in those words, until recently. I spent a few months living and working in Thailand, and it was only then that I came to fully appreciate that what we think, what we eat, and who we love, are what we become.
We Are What We Think
The following is an extract from one of my favorite authors; I think it is just so funny, and accurate.
If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until you can hardly bear to look at it.
A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose, and a crooked mouth, and a double chin, and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts it will shine out of your face like sunbeams, and you will always look lovely.
– Roald Dahl, The Twits
Our thoughts are the most powerful things that we have control over. By learning to get into the habit of thinking positively, we are setting ourselves up for success. Good thoughts will transcend into our daily lives and improve our relationships, as well as how we deal with negative forces that are out of our control. We will get into the habit of approaching challenges with solutions, as opposed to creating more obstacles.
I don’t mean that we can never have negative thoughts, or that we should ignore them. I think we should acknowledge why they have occurred, take what we need, and then let them go. Life becomes a lot more enjoyable- and easier- when we are living in a place of peace and happiness.
We Are What We Eat
We all love food, and what we eat affects our moods, self-esteem and energy levels. When we give our bodies what they need, they are able to perform better, which makes our daily lives a lot easier- and in turn- we are generally happier.
I am not a health fanatic and my diet leaves a lot to be desired, but I have learnt that compromising works well with me. We all have something that is really hard to resist. I think that we should compromise with ourselves, so when we crave that something, we should have it. But then we should compromise by cutting back on other indulgences that aren’t necessary.
This way we can still indulge but overall live healthier, more balanced lives.
We Are A Reflection Of Our Friends
Our friends should be people we admire and respect, people who want the best for us and who support us. After spending time together, we should always be left feeling lighter and happier.
Friends have the ability to uplift or crush us. We need to be careful about who we allow in our lives, and be ruthless about cutting out anyone that may detract from our overall well-being.
We Are Who We Love
Being in love is the best feeling in the world. It feels like everything is brighter, and there is an intangible lightness about life. The possibilities are infinite.
Who we choose to spend our lives with- be it short-term or long-term- says a lot about who we are. Our relationships should be based on mutual respect and love, we should grow alongside each other; be united and yet remain independent. We should look for someone who sets our soul on fire. Someone who makes us want to be better; someone who uplifts us, and loves us for everything that we are. We need this person, and we need to be this person.
A lot of the time, how a partner treats us in a relationship is how we treat ourselves- or as Stephen Chbosky so eloquently wrote in The Perks of Being a Wallflower- ‘We accept the love we think we deserve’, and my darlings, we deserve the very best. If we haven’t found the one yet, we should love ourselves in the meantime, with the same intensity that will one day set their soul on fire.