The Art Of Moving Forward
As I came to realize that yet another relationship was coming to an end, I began to wonder if my father was on to something after my last breakup, when he joked that maybe I should just give up and consider joining the priesthood.
That thought quickly came and went; I may be undateable, but I’m no f*cking ecclesiastic!
I then got to thinking about the whole dynamic of monogamous relationships, how maybe it was all just a myth. Perhaps it’s just not meant to work, that men and women are not meant to be together. We are after all- according to that world-renowned bestseller- from two different planets, right?
Dr. John Gray- the author of ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’- reckons that most relationship problems are as a result of fundamental psychological differences between the genders.
This may be true, but the monkey working the controls in my simple brain doesn’t want to give up hope just yet!
I’m definitely no expert in the area- I actually feel a bit of a fraud writing this- but I’d like to think I have learned a thing or two from my relationship ‘failings’.
High Expectations Are OK
I don’t think anyone should have to apologize for having high expectations in a relationship. Sharing your life with someone- if indeed that’s what you want to do- is a pretty huge deal, so why settle for anything less than an electrifying, spine-tingling connection?
The tightening in your chest when they enter the room, the dead weight in your stomach when you say goodbye. That immeasurable feeling, the one everyone refers to but can never articulate.
That, je ne sais quoi.
Life is too short, and if that spark is not there, we must acknowledge it and move on.
Idealism Sits In Prison
If like me you are an idealist, you may be prone to romanticizing almost every encounter and experience that you have ever had. Whether it be a chance encounter, a sexual experience, or otherwise. I don’t think you should have to apologize for that either.
Yes it may bring some added pressure, but I guess that’s just part of the magic!
Answers Come From Within
Being deeply honest with yourself in what you want- and not settling for anything less- will find you on the right path. If the flame dies down, and the spark fizzles out into the ether, why not look inward and ask questions as to why it has happened, and what, if anything, is missing?
We owe it to ourselves to be honest, aware, and in touch with our intuition.
Nature dictates that a deeply romantic narrative will forever be playing over in my head. Sometimes I think that I have to try and not succumb to it, because maybe it isn’t real, maybe it doesn’t exist, but I don’t want to believe that.
There is no blueprint, no manual to follow, and there is no secret recipe. No matter how hard you try to search for it in books or online- and believe me I’ve tried- I don’t believe you’ll find it.
I think it is simply a matter of being deeply honest with yourself, and becoming aware of what it is you want, because that ‘it’ feeling does exist, and you deserve to feel it.
Like anything in life, we learn and grow from our experiences. So throw caution to the wind, and let your burning desire guide you.