Grey-Haired Revelations

Another birthday has come and gone, the (not very many) remnants of sponge cake are discarded into the bin, and I am left contemplating time yet again. Not just the speed at which it passes, but the degree to which our situations can change in a relatively short period.

I’m not quite sure why this one is supposed to be significant. It could be a cultural thing, certainly. It could be a kind of self-constructed perception based on various expectations we place on ourselves. It could be a result of societal pressure. Or it could just be that it is indeed the time where one finally starts to feel as though they have everything figured out.

Who knows, perhaps the answers will be revealed over the course of the next 12 months. I’ll keep you posted regardless, dear reader.

First impressions? Well, as I write I’m sitting poolside in our luxury villa in the stunning and culturally rich island of Bali. My brothers and sister-in-law are either side of me, the sun is beating down, I have a paper and pen at my disposal, and the coffee supply is endless. Things could be a lot worse, I must admit!

If I’m honest though- and this is not to sound ungrateful- the surroundings are a superficial bonus. Whether sitting in a rooftop cafe in the heart of the Balinese rice fields, or at a corner table in Matthew’s Coffee Shop on Main St. Portarlington, in essence it’s all the same to me; company and conversation are what’s most important. But, I digress.

Where was I. Ah yes, first impressions. My feelings right now at the ripe age of 30, are of immense gratitude and excitement.

I have much to be thankful for; as I alluded to previously, being able to spend time with loved ones after a prolonged period of time spent apart has been incredible. To add to that, having people in my life who care about me and whom I care a great deal for in return. I’m lucky to be able to make a living doing something that I enjoy and am passionate about, and for having opportunities such as this whereby I can enjoy some downtime, press reset, and reflect on all that is important in life.

After having stepped over the threshold into my 30’s, I am also filled with excitement. Although admittedly I can’t say for certain that I have everything figured out, or am any closer to ‘settling’ (whatever the fuck that means), I have been able to identify some critical areas of improvement in recent years, taken positive steps towards progression, and am continuously learning as I go. That makes me proud.

I may not be satisfied with my current situation, but I’m actually fine with that. I think the moment we feel completely satisfied in all aspects of our lives, is the moment we stop improving.

Another thing I have been pondering in recent days, are those times where I have found myself operating at my optimum level; those times where I have felt at my best. I haven’t felt completely in control for quite some time, and something needs to be done about that.

Upon reflection, as far as I can tell I am at my best when working towards a goal, when immersed in a project that excites me, and when applying myself passionately towards the attainment of said goal.

All the perceived difficulties over the past few months amount to one thing: procrastination. If turning 30 has made me feel anything, it’s an overwhelming desire to be the best version of myself; to find myself at a place where I am mentally, physically and spiritually in tune over a sustained period.

If there have been any revelations as a result of closing the door on my 20’s, it’s that the most important commitment you can make is a commitment to yourself; a conscious decision to be better every day, and to tread your path passionately and without fear. Everything outside of that which you can control, will take care of itself.