A Parallel Paradox
Sometimes it feels as if I’m existing in two different worlds. There’s this one world, where time seems to lose all meaning; I become everything and nothing, existing entirely in the present moment. I can do no wrong in this world, because I am connected to a higher power that exists outside of myself; I am giving back to the universe in such a way that breeds new understanding; the realisation that there is more to life than that which we can consciously perceive.
It is within this sphere where everything seems to make perfect sense, in the moment, and yet ironically, the more I tap into this world, the deeper and more frequent the questions seem to form in my mind, compounding the confusion.
In the moment, it is as close to complete and utter bliss as you could wish to find yourself. I’ve found though, that it’s not possible to exist here on a long term basis, as inevitably the pull from the other world tears me away from that exhilarating state of flow, and into a different dimension.
In this other world- the physical world- time not only has meaning, but it seems to have a strong hold over proceedings; time dictates where we think we need to be and what we think we should be doing, and no matter what we do, we never seem to have enough of it.
It also appears that a resistive force is present within this world, preventing us from existing as we would so wish; it’s a continuous and glorious battle with the self, questioning the direction and rate at which I am moving forward; doing things which feed my senses and provide satisfaction yes, but only so far as I feel comfortable in this action of maintaining the façade of belonging, so that at the end of the month I can swipe a piece of plastic and type a number on a screen, and in return for my efforts can continue to eat overpriced chicken salads, and drink vanilla lattes, and nourish the ego that’s constantly whispering in my ear, a wildly mistaken belief that this is the world in which I belong.
This empirical world can be enjoyable, and even pleasurable, but as much as I may smile and nod passively and go along with what my ego is trying to convince me of, there are moments where I am left asking questions, wondering if there is something more to this existence.
And there is, I know there is, because I’ve experienced it. I’ve tasted it; it’s the other world, the world within which I become engulfed each and every time I put pen to paper, dissolving effortlessly and without restraint back into the ether, reconnecting; a state in which time dissipates and creativity flourishes; the flow state from which I am constantly pulled from unceremoniously.
To wrap up this transcendental reflection, I think it’s fair to say that we perhaps need both worlds, because without one, the other can’t exist. Who’s to say that if I were to live in that blissful state of euphoria at all times, that I would feel the same way about it? I think sometimes in life contrast is important; you need to experience on a deep level all that life has to offer, so you can come to realise what it is you truly desire, and of course, what you do not.
Maybe it’s something that we just have to contend with, being able to navigate the physical and the spiritual realm with awareness and wonderment, while retaining a deep appreciation for this mind-expanding experience that we call life.